In a world that constantly tells us what success should look like—more money, a bigger house, a prestigious job—it’s easy to get lost in someone else’s definition. But true success isn’t one-size-fits-all. What makes someone feel fulfilled and happy may look very different from what resonates with you. The key to long-term fulfilment lies in defining your own version of success, one that aligns with your values, passions, and purpose. Here’s how you can do it.

Reflect on Your Values and Priorities

The first step in creating your own version of success is taking a step back to assess what really matters to you. Society often pushes us toward external markers of success—titles, wealth, and material possessions. While those things can bring satisfaction, they won’t bring lasting happiness unless they are aligned with your core values.

What truly brings you joy and purpose? Is it freedom, creativity, helping others, or perhaps personal growth? Understanding what’s most important to you allows you to make choices that feel authentic. When you live in alignment with your values, your definition of success will start to feel more personal and fulfilling.

This reflective process can be challenging, especially if you’ve been living by external expectations for most of your life. This is where coaching can help. A coach asks the right questions to bring your values into sharper focus, helping you gain clarity on what truly drives you.

Envision Your Ideal Life

Once you’ve identified your values, it’s time to imagine what your ideal life looks like. What does success feel like to you, day-to-day? It’s not just about career achievements or material gains. Think about how you want to spend your time, who you want to be around, and what activities bring you joy and fulfilment.

Visualising your ideal life helps you move beyond societal definitions and toward something more personal and meaningful. Perhaps success for you means working fewer hours to spend more time with family, or maybe it’s about pursuing a passion project that aligns with your creative side. The clearer your vision, the easier it is to define success on your own terms.

A coach can guide you through visualisation exercises, helping you picture what your life could look like if it were fully aligned with your desires and values. They can also help you break down your vision into actionable steps, making what might seem like an impossible dream feel achievable.

Set Goals That Reflect Your Personal Vision

Defining success isn’t just about having a vague idea of happiness—it’s about setting tangible goals that reflect your personal vision. These goals should be specific to your aspirations, whether they relate to your career, finances, relationships, or personal development. The important thing is that they’re your goals, not what society expects from you.

One way to ensure your goals are actionable is by using the SMART framework—setting goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. For example, instead of simply saying, “I want to be financially successful,” define what financial success means to you. It might be, “I want to save $10,000 by the end of the year to invest in my side business.” This specificity keeps you focused and accountable.

A coach can help refine these goals and ensure they are aligned with your long-term vision. More importantly, they can hold you accountable and guide you through the steps needed to achieve them, offering support and feedback along the way.

Detach from External Expectations

One of the biggest barriers to defining your own version of success is the pressure to live up to other people’s expectations. Whether it’s family, friends, or societal norms, it’s easy to feel like you need to meet certain standards to be deemed successful. But true success is deeply personal—it’s about what makes you feel fulfilled, not what others think of you.

Learning to detach from these expectations is a powerful step toward creating a life you don’t feel the need to escape from. This doesn’t mean you should ignore external input, but rather recognise when you’re making decisions based on someone else’s vision instead of your own. It’s about having the confidence to pursue what truly matters to you, even if it looks different from the traditional paths.

This can be a tough mental shift to make, but a coach can offer perspective and help you recognise when you’re straying from your own vision. They can provide the encouragement and tools needed to stay on track, despite external pressures.

Focus on Fulfilment, Not Perfection

Success isn’t about ticking off a list of accomplishments—it’s about living a life that feels fulfilling, even if it’s imperfect. Chasing perfection can leave you feeling constantly inadequate, always striving for more without ever feeling satisfied. But when you define success by how fulfilled you feel, rather than by external achievements, you create a more sustainable sense of happiness.

Fulfilment can come from small moments of joy, from feeling aligned with your purpose, or from meaningful connections with others. It’s about being present in your life and appreciating the progress you’ve made, rather than always focusing on what’s missing.

A coach can help you shift from a perfectionist mindset to one that values progress and fulfilment. They’ll encourage you to celebrate small wins along the way and remind you that success isn’t about achieving perfection—it’s about living in a way that feels true to you.

Stay Flexible and Open to Change

As you grow and evolve, your definition of success may change—and that’s okay. Life is full of unexpected twists, and sometimes what you thought you wanted at one stage of life may no longer resonate with you later on. The key is to remain flexible and open to change, continually assessing whether your goals and values still align with where you want to be.

Staying adaptable ensures that your vision of success remains relevant and meaningful as you progress through different stages of life. Regularly reflect on whether your current path still feels right and make adjustments as needed.

Coaches are invaluable when it comes to navigating these changes. They provide a supportive space to reassess and recalibrate, ensuring you remain aligned with your evolving version of success.

Conclusion: Defining Success on Your Terms

Defining your own version of success is a journey of self-discovery. It requires reflection, goal-setting, and the courage to detach from external expectations. By focusing on what truly matters to you and embracing a life that aligns with your values, you can create a version of success that feels deeply fulfilling.

If you’re ready to take control of your future and build a life that resonates with your vision, a coach can help accelerate your progress, offering guidance and support every step of the way. Why wait? Start defining your own success today—on your own terms.