Happiness is one of those elusive concepts that many people spend their lives chasing. The problem is that most people misunderstand what happiness truly is and how to achieve it. We often think happiness is something to be found in the future—once we have the perfect job, the ideal partner, the dream house, or the financial security we crave. However, this way of thinking leads us further away from happiness, not toward it.
The first common misconception is that happiness is a constant state. People tend to believe that once they achieve certain goals or acquire certain things, they’ll remain happy forever. In reality, happiness is fleeting and ever-changing. It’s not something you can “lock in” and hold onto indefinitely. Life is full of ups and downs, and so is happiness. Accepting this helps you appreciate moments of joy when they arise and reduces the frustration of chasing an unrealistic, permanent state of bliss.
Another thing most people get wrong about happiness is assuming it comes from external sources—such as material possessions, status, or even other people. We think, “Once I get that promotion, I’ll be happy,” or “If only I could buy a bigger house, I’d feel content.” But research shows that external factors contribute only a small part to our overall sense of happiness. In fact, according to studies, 40% of our happiness is determined by our intentional activities and mindset, meaning it’s more about how we view and approach life than what we have.
Instead of seeking happiness through possessions or external achievements, focus on internal factors that are within your control. Practising gratitude is one powerful way to shift your perspective. By regularly reflecting on the things you’re grateful for—whether they’re big or small—you train your brain to focus on the positive aspects of your life, which naturally enhances your sense of happiness. Start with small daily exercises, like writing down three things you’re thankful for every morning, and watch how your mindset changes over time.
A major misconception is the idea that happiness is achieved by avoiding discomfort or challenges. Many people believe that an easy, stress-free life will lead to lasting happiness. But the reality is that personal growth and fulfilment often come from overcoming challenges, not avoiding them. Facing difficulties head-on, learning from failure, and pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone all contribute to deeper, more meaningful happiness in the long run. The sense of accomplishment and growth that follows a challenge can bring a more sustainable form of happiness than temporary comfort ever could.
Moreover, people often think happiness is an individual pursuit, focusing solely on their own needs and desires. However, studies have shown that social connections and acts of kindness significantly boost long-term happiness. Humans are social creatures, and building meaningful relationships—whether with family, friends, or your community—plays a vital role in your overall well-being. Volunteering or simply helping others can create a lasting sense of purpose and connection, which are key ingredients for happiness. The more you invest in relationships and contribute to the well-being of others, the more happiness you’ll find in your own life.
Another common mistake is believing that happiness can be pursued directly. Ironically, the more we try to chase happiness as a goal in itself, the more it tends to slip away. Happiness often emerges as a byproduct of other pursuits—like finding purpose, building meaningful relationships, and practising gratitude. When you focus on living a life aligned with your values, happiness follows naturally.
Finally, many people overlook the importance of mindfulness when it comes to happiness. We spend so much time dwelling on the past or worrying about the future that we forget to appreciate the present moment. Mindfulness—being fully present and engaged in the here and now—allows you to experience more moments of joy in everyday life. Whether it’s enjoying a meal, spending time with a loved one, or taking a walk outside, being mindful helps you savour life as it happens, leading to a deeper and more sustained sense of happiness.
In summary, most people get happiness wrong because they look for it in the wrong places—expecting it to come from external sources, thinking it’s permanent, or chasing it as a goal. True happiness comes from within, from embracing life’s challenges, cultivating gratitude, nurturing relationships, and being present in the moment. When we shift our focus from chasing happiness to living a meaningful, purposeful life, we’ll find that happiness naturally follows.
